Birth of a Band 1

If you scoot back over the news section of the Mechkov website, you will see that (apart from news of a cracking new soundscape album) there is a flurry of news regarding my new band, Custard Cream. From this flurry, it is also (I hope) clear that the band has managed to cement itself into the local gigging scene with some speed following its first gig on May 11th this year (2013).

I thought I ought to get down how this came about…

There is a rather spiffing little website here in the UK called joinmyband, through which musicians and singers can find other musicians and singers, and which I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to get people to hop in on my projects.

Ah! We are a funny bunch, we musos. We seem, when we are together, to have so much in common when together on a stage, but when a person has his own plans and ideas, getting others involved is a tough ask. They are all far too busy trying to find others to join them on their projects.

So, having had limited success on this, my wife suggested I join in on someone else’s project – and maybe earn some money while I was at it.

Unfortunately, the ad I followed up on the site is now long gone, but it went something along the lines of: “Custard Cream is moving to Berkshire and needs a drummer, bassist and a singer to join lifelong pals Nige and George on guitars for a blues and rock band. We have a lot of experience and our own Sharon Osborne.”

Can you tell what the clincher might have been for me here? Yes, of course, as with any musician, the thought of having someone actually taking on the responsibility of marketing, managing and promotion was too much to ignore – let alone hope for. I answered the ad immediately and pretty soon Nige and I were in correspondence. I’m guessing that he was attracted to me as an option because I could both play bass and sing AND I had my own website with original music. He wasn’t interested in this, but it does show I have some capability without having to go through the pain of a crap rehearsal.

The email chain goes back to September 26^th 2012 and it appears that Nige had said that the band would be able to meet during weekdays – this really did sell the project to me. Nige was moving to the area from Cornwall, so I figured it would be best to leave him and his family to the horrors that are moving house before pushing for anything more.

By mid-October, Nige informed me that he thought he had found a drummer – and, what is more, one that could rehearse on a weekday (one day per week), but that, following the move, he would have to spend a few weeks doing the house up before ‘Sharon’ would even let him think of going out to rehearse. Fair enough, I thought.

By October 19^th, we had shared set lists and George had come through with a sort of hybrid list based on all of our contributions of song titles and Nige was saying we would be in rehearsal by December at the latest and gigging in January. ‘Bloody perfect’ was my thought on the issue.

Come the end of November, I was champing at the bit to get into rehearsal, but Nige still hadn’t finished his ‘house work’ and so we agreed to postpone until after Christmas and meet up in the New Year. It also turned out that George (the other guitarist) would NOT be able to rehearse on weekdays… hmm…

In the meantime, the drummer, Neil, suggested that we meet up for a drink. Yes, all of this planning and we hadn’t even met – yet, for some reason, I felt sure this was going to be a good project…

Why? I have absolutely no idea. Normally when I have a gut feeling for something, I end up being so wrong, I have to pretend I was never really interested in the first place, but of course at the time it all seems to make perfect sense. I really did not see this as being something that was dragging on.

My wife is better than me

It’s the weekend – joy! What’s more the sun is shining… What’s more it’s my wife’s and my first wedding anniversary – what more could one want?

It has already been one of those idyllic mornings when the simplest of things fill one with joy and love. Cutting Lorraine a flower from the garden to take up with her wake-up cup of tea, being given a really nice bottle of wine and a photo album of our wedding and honeymoon, enjoying a radio show together (Des Lynham and a mate nattering about golf – very funny – very middle class – very middle aged), cleaning out cars and then discovering Lorraine in my studio discovering this blog.

I started it on Wednesday and now it’s Saturday – four days, four blogs. Lorraine actually inspired me to start writing a blog when she started her own last September. That’s how slow a starter I am… And this is how slow a ‘continuer’ she is. Today, after seeing my first three efforts, Lorraine dived with vehemence on to her computer and began continuing hers. You can see it here.

In case you haven’t clicked through to look it at it by now, it’s called ‘My husband is better than me – grrr’. Bless her. And while much of what she has written in said blog is quite true – including the willy cleaning habits… Just in case – the thing that is wrong is the very premise of the piece. I’m not better than her. She’s better than me.

We both work as writers, but while I tend to burble out the first thing that comes to mind and then click on the upload button with a flourish a few minutes later, Lorraine has the ability to write something, look at it, correct stuff, re-write it, re-correct it, change the ending, edit out the unnecessary bits and then give it a final gloss and re-re-re-re-correct. This is real writing. This is what real writers do. Not splurge their never-ending thoughts on the trivia of musical instruments, music, writing, or whatever, and then be happy with the results with barely a second glance.

What is more – and as her blog describes – she does this while putting a load of laundry into the washing machine, filling the dishwasher, doing the ironing, dusting, cleaning, cooking and organising our diaries and finances for the next 15 years. If she finds herself at a loose end, she’ll pop out into the garden and go shopping… For fun.

How do women do it? Why can’t they simply sit down and do nothing? As I mentioned in ‘The joys of mediocrity 1’, my habits are generally half-hearted and even then it done with extreme struggle against my unending ability to do absolutely nothing. I can watch football or listen to an album and have not a though in my head about what needs to be done. Women don’t seem to be able to do that. I think I would pity them if it weren’t for the fact that they are continually jemmying men out of their seats and into some chore or other.

And this brings me back to the opening. This has been a wonderful morning – as have been the past few Saturdays, because I have got out of bed, fully prepared (and psyched up) to do at least one relevant chore before anything else.

The difference this morning is that exactly one year ago, we were meeting up at Auchen Castle in Moffat to promise ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. It was a wonderful day – and that makes today a wonderful day, too.

I met Lorraine 30 years ago – it was an inauspicious start to a relationship. We were in a show together and that was pretty much the beginning and the end of the story.

When we met up again nearly ten years ago, there was an attraction. Nine years ago, we became friends. Eight years ago we were best friends. Six years ago we became lovers. Four years ago we began living together. Last year we got married. Today we are going to the garden centre to buy Lorraine a shrub that she really wants.

The joy of that big day one year ago almost pales into insignificance with the simple beauty of being there for each other, of being together, of doing stuff together. My life, thanks to her, is pretty much complete.

And to top it all off – she’s loads better than me at pretty much everything.

Happy anniversary, Darling – I really love you.